In Which I Critique All The Things

Short version: I’m critiquing the first page of any interested YA (or MG*) writers. Scroll to the end for details!

Long version: Today is the day–the Big Day–where all of the Pitch Wars mentees (why do I want to say manatees?) are revealed. For some, the result will be OHMYGAWSH so exciting. For others… not so much. But to all of those who didn’t make it: there were over one thousand entries. It was impossible to choose just three, because they were all so good. So not making it doesn’t mean anything about your writing. YOU. ALL. ROCK. (Also, subjectivity.)

Anyway, the mentors were awesome and gave personalized feedback to every entry. (Go, thank them for their awesomeness if you haven’t already!) I, however, was not so awesome. I didn’t critique entries sent to me. In my defense, I didn’t have the time. (Translation: I probably could have done them, but I was LAZY.) I do feel bad about this, though, and since I have time time this weekend, I thought: why don’t I do a bunch of critiques? And then I remembered Taryn Albright‘s critique opportunity from a few weeks ago, and so here I am, doing something similar. I am not as qualified as Taryn is, but hopefully my critique will mean something to you. (You can read my “about me” to see qualifications.) So, more officially:

This Saturday, I’m critiquing first pages. This is open to any and all YA writers. (MG writers, I love you and I can try to critique you if you like, but I don’t feel as qualified with MG.) Pitch Wars people, this will hopefully make up for my lack of critiques. Other equally-awesome people, you do not need to have entered Pitch Wars to send in your first page. It also does not matter whether or not you’re agented, or whether it’s only a first draft, or third draft, or its completely polished. I’ll critique any YA first page.

However, I won’t necessarily do a line-by-line. My one goal is to honestly (so if you only want a cheerleader, please don’t enter) tell you whether or not I’d read on. (Which, as a side note, is a hugely-important question that is not very often critiqued for.) In some cases that may involve a line-by-line; in many others, however, it will just be a paragraph detailing why I would, or would not, read on. Also, please don’t attach a query or pitch of some sort. See, I’m a strong believer that people put too much stress on queries and not enough on pages, because in the end, it’s only the pages that matter, right? (Don’t get me wrong; queries are VERY important, but pages trump query.)

Just a quick note: remember that this is very a subjective. So while I may not like something for certain reasons, others may love it for equally valid reasons, or vice versa. Please please please keep that in mind and take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Anyway, HOW TO ACTUALLY GET THE SHINY (OR NOT SHINY) CRITIQUES:

Email your first page–and JUST your first page–in the body of the email to JHansenAuthor(at)gmail(dot)com with the subject line “Critique.” You can send it in starting now and ending on Saturday, 12/15.  I will be doing the actual critiques all day Saturday (12/15) and tweeting general advice with the hashtag #JohnCrits, so check in there every so often if you feel inclined. If I get more than fifty entries, though, I’ll critique (and tweet!) through Sunday.

But like any contest, there have to be shiny prizes, right? RIGHT. So I’ll select my top five entries and have them submit their first ten pages. Of those, I’ll choose one favorite and critique their full manuscript! Woot! (Or if you don’t want my critique, I give you permission to ninja stare. I know, I KNOW, you totally needed my permission first.)

Hopefully my critique will be helpful to YA writers, because you get the perspective of an intern + beta-reader for published authors + other things, as well as that of a teen. (Except, I don’t critique as a teen; I critique as someone who has an eye for critiquing, but who can also pick out when something is non-teen-like.)

RANDOM, UNSUBTLE SELF-PROMO-UTILIZING-GUILT THING: As you know I’m doing all of these for free. And that’s okay, because I want to do this, but anything you can do to spread the word would be much appreciated–and also a great way to show your thanks. *wink wink nudge nudge* (I know, how did I even get so unsubtle??)

Let me know if you have any questions!

#PitchWars: Submissions & Bios

It’s here! It’s here! As of today, you can begin submitting your Pitch Wars applications! Directly below this is the form submissions info post, so if you’re here to see my mentor bio/wishlist, it’s at the end of the post!

Submissions start today (11/26)! The cut off time to get your applications (query & first five pages of manuscript) in is 8AM EST on December 5.

Send your applications to brendadrakecontests@gmail.com. Writers can apply for up to 3 coaches. The coaches’ categories are set. Coaches can only consider the categories they’ve signed up for. Writers cannot apply for a coach that is not in their category.

For additional information about this contest go HERE.

·  This is open to finished manuscripts only.

· You may only enter one manuscript.

· Only the genres requested by each coach will be considered for the contest.

 Formatting…

Subject line: Pitch Wars Application: Coach Name you want to apply for: Title (Example: Pitch Wars Application: Brenda Drake: GONE WITH THE WIND)

Name: Your Name

Genre: The genre of your manuscript

Word Count: The word count of your manuscript

Query letter here  (embedded in email). Single spaced. No indentions. A space between each paragraph.

First five pages of the manuscript here (embedded in email). Single spaced. No indentions. A space between each paragraph.

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REMINDER: You can send an application for up to 3 coaches.

Check back soon for a complete list of the amazing agents participating in the contest. There’s over a dozen!

Our mentors …

 

1.

12.

23.

2.

13.

24.

3.

14.

25.

4.

15.

26.

5.

16.

27.

6.

17.

28.

7.

18.

29.

8.

19.

30.

9.

20.

31.

10.

21.

11.

22.

(This is cutting off, I know. Read the full mentor line-up here.)

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My abbreviated bio:

I’m John.

I’m a lit agent intern, writer and (constant) reader of YA, a twitter addict, and an abuser of exclamation points, caps lock and GIFs. I’ve beta-read for majorly published authors–as well as tons of unpublished writers!–and my short stories have appeared in a few non-profit magazines. Mainly, I’ve read and critiqued A LOT of manuscripts, and the people I’ve read for seem pleased with the feedback. (I’m not quite full of myself enough to include testimonials–but it’s close, of course–so for now, I’ll just say that two days ago, a fantastic YA writer told me that the notes I sent her were “some of the best [she]‘d ever gotten.”)

But the most important part of my bio is the following:

There’s a line between killing your characters out of necessity and killing them for pleasure. I tend to cross it.

You want me as your mentor… because I have an unending supply of chocolate that I’m not afraid to share. See here:

(I’ve also heard some of the agents are prone to bribery by chocolate, a weapon my team will most certainly take advantage of… shhhh…)

(Also, you want me as your mentor because it’s a proven fact that sending your application to ME causes you to feel like this. That’s a good thing.)

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My Wishlist:

- I’m a huge YA thriller fan. Anything from The Bourne Identity style action, to dark psychological, I’m your guy. (Really. Don’t listen to the other mentors wanting YA thrillers. I‘m the thriller guy.)

- I’d love to see some YA sci-fi, either light or heavy. If you have a good high-concept sci-fi with a unique hook–think Crewel or Legend–I’m all over it, especially if it has thrilling action scenes mixed in.

- I love a good YA contemporary as well. I’m a big John Green and Jandy Nelson fan, so in that vein, if you have a powerful story with quirky characters that can make me smile and make me cry, I’d love to see it.

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If you’re interested, you can follow me on twitter here.

Also, let it be known that right now I’m on my best behavior for the guests. Really, I am. My normal self is actually screaming inside this false, good-humored one, begging to get out. So there’s that.

And, with this kitten GIF, I bid you goodbye:

Announcing #PitchWars…

Pitch Wars is a new contest hosted by Brenda Drake, and I’m so excited that she invited me to play along as a mentor. I personally will be looking for anything dark YA (mostly YA myster/thriller, horror, sci-fi, contemp) but I’ll go into more detail about that, along with making a short “why you want me” bio, in the coming weeks. (But I should have you know, I bribe with chocolate.) For now, here’s the intro post:

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We’re extremely excited to announce an upcoming event where  agented authors, industry interns, and editors team up with aspiring writers to shine up their manuscripts and pitches to present to some awesome agents.

Here’s the deets…

  • The teams will consist of 1 agented author or industry intern or editor (coaches) and 1 aspiring author.
  • November 26: The coaches (listed on the linky below) will post on their blogs what genre/category they want to coach. They’ll be very specific genres. Aspiring writers will hop around and decide which coaches best fit their manuscripts.
  • December 5: Aspiring writers will submit 3 “applications” to their top choices for coaches to the contest email (brendadrakecontests@gmail.com) during the allotted times (8AM to 8PM EST). That means, participants will send three separate emails to the contest email addressing each with one of their three top choices for coach.
  • December 5 through December 10: Coaches will read the applications and pick teammates.The coaches don’t have to pick from their applications. If a coach passes on an application, it is then up for grabs and another coach, if they haven’t connected to their applicants, can snatch it after notifying the applicant and if the applicant chooses the coach.
  • December 12: Teams will be announced. On the announcement post there will be instructions on how the winners must send their work.
  • December 12 through January 16: Each coach will read their teammate’s manuscript and give general notes on any issues they find. The coach will help their teammate get his or her pitches ready for the agent round.
  • Note: The material for the agent round will be a 3 sentence pitch and the first 250 words of your manuscript. Coaches will read manuscripts and query letters only once and give notes. It is up to the writer to use the notes from their coaches to get the manuscript and query letter in as best shape as they can to send to requesting agents. The coaches will critique the three sentence pitch and first 250 words. The coaches will read them as many times as they deem necessary. In no way will writers expect the coaches to read the manuscript and query letter more than once or the pitches more than twice.
  • January 20: Coaches will submit shined pitches to the contest email.
  • January 23 and 24: Agents will read and make requests on the pitches they like (it is likely that not all participants will get requests).
  • January 25: We’ll announce the team with the most requests and who will take home the winning prizes (an amazon gift card for each).
  • This is open to finished manuscripts only.
  • You may only enter one manuscript.
  • Only the genres requested by each coach will be considered for the contest.

Formatting…

Subject line: Pitch Wars Application: Coach Name you want to apply for: Title (Example: Pitch Wars Application: Brenda Drake: GONE WITH THE WIND)

Name: Your Name

Genre: The genre of your manuscript

Word Count: The word count of your manuscript

Query letter here  (embedded in email). Single spaced. No indentions. A space between each paragraph.

First five pages of the manuscript here (embedded in email). Single spaced. No indentions. A space between each paragraph.

““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““

REMINDER: You can send an application for up to 3 coaches.

Our mentors …

Edit: the linky seems to be failing, so please go here to find the mentor list:

http://brenleedrake.blogspot.com

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